I saw an ad on TV last night for a “disease” known as “Restless Leg Syndrome.” RLS.
Apparently during periods of inactivity you feel like moving your legs. That’s a disease? That requires a “Restless Leg Foundation?” Are you shitting me? There’s a foundation for this? Like, people are getting paid to man the phone support lines in case your foot falls asleep?
Oh … look who sponsors these fine organizations to help the sufferers from this life-shattering ailment. Why it’s the big pharmaceutical companies. Our friends.
Yeah, it’s that time of year again. And everyone has “tax questions.” What can I deduct? Will I get audited? Will the IRS believe I adopted 17 kids this year?
But lets ask some more fundamental questions:
If I can book a round-the-world trip in under five minutes on the Internet, why does it take all weekend (or a professional CPA) to do my taxes? Seriously. Why does it have to be so complicated? Who benefits from this freaking nightmare of paperwork that every adult in the country is in some way saddled with? Lawyers, CPA’s, the IRS, and basically the government – that’s who. The more complex this stays the more of our money they can take. Sure, sure, sure … “only the rich get to take advantage of all those loopholes.” But what are they paying a CPA and tax attorney to get those breaks? And with all the information that is on file about us – especially…
OK. So I helped NBC and the TV industry last month with a critique of the Olympics coverage. Now Hollywood needs help.
During the Oscars (go Jon Stewart!) they made a lot of noise about getting people back into the movie theatres to see movies. Why? Because they make more money if we do than if we rent a DVD. Duh.
So lets start there. Movie Industry: Do you really think we’re so dumb that we don’t know why you’re saying this? Home Entertainment Systems are as good as anything you can throw into a building. I know, my neighbors have a great one and I can get my martini shaken (not stirred) by setting it on the table when they have that bad boy blasting. Maybe they aren’t as big, but the quality of the image is damn near perfect and you can sit where ever you want to get the full effect.
Next, watching at home means you…
NBC’s rotten Olympics coverage.
Why Valentine’s Day Sucks … and why it shouldn’t.
The annual rite known as “Valentine’s Day” should be a happy one. Married couples should be able to step out of their dual-income, mortgage-paying blight and do something romantic and/or kinky on that day. People in relationships should be able to spend the day doing something to celebrate and strengthen their union … or at least try something new together. And for the mass of the populace who are alone, it should be an occasion to roll the dice once more and try to find “someone.”
But, thanks to the gaping maw of the beast called “marketing” Valentine’s Day is none of those things. It is a guilt-ridden, ego-shattering continuation of the depressing shit-tide that comes during the Christmas buying blitz. You just barely start paying off your VISA and MasterCard from Christmas and there, once again on the TV and newspapers, you’re being told to buy jewelry, cars, clothes, vacations,…
