“New England Holiday Greetings”

(Another old gem from the ‘Net in the 1990’s … if you’re dealing with summer heat, this will remind you of the other extreme. This won’t make much sense unless you’ve spent at least one winter in an area that gets a lot of snow, and the attitude won’t make as much sense unless you’ve spent some time in the Northeast.)

September 12
Started Christmas shopping early – Love to start at this time, Best deals around – Just love X-mas

November 24
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks just like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and I shoveled the driveway. We had a little snowball fight ( I won!) Then, when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a Beautiful day. I love New England.

December 2
Well, all the snow has melted. I hope we get more snow.

December 12
More Snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it’s trick again at the driveway.

December 13
More snow. Couldn’t get out the driveway to go to work. Am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow.

December 22
More of the white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hand from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I’ve finished the driveway. Asshole.

December 25
Merry FUCKING Christmas. More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll fucking kill him.

December 27
More white shit fell last night. Been inside for 3 days. Can’t go anywhere…cars stuck in a mountain of friggin snow. The weather man says to expect another 10″ of the white shit tonight. Do they know how many shovelsfull of snow 10″ is?

December 28
The weather man was wrong…we got 11″ of the white shit. At this rate it won’t melt till fucking May. The snowplow got stuck just up the the street. The guy asked if he could borrow my shovel……….I hit him with it.