Comments on: L.A. Drivers - Too Dumb To Live http://www.gonzoville.com/screeds/la-drivers-too-dumb-to-live/ When the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro. Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:50:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Flush Garden http://www.gonzoville.com/screeds/la-drivers-too-dumb-to-live/comment-page-1/#comment-80239 Flush Garden Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:53:01 +0000 http://blog.gonzoville.com/?p=42#comment-80239 I spent almost four months living in Toulouse, France when I was going through training for the "Airbus." Just the single word "Airbus" speaks volumes for what has happened to the airline industry. That's another story. Back on point, are the "European drivers." My El-Cheapo airline company gave me a rental Peugeot 101, a car that would have a tough time slip-streaming the ambulances on the back straight of a go-cart track. It was about seven cuts below a VW Beetle in acceleration, handling, and quality. My French girlfriend invites me down to the Riviera for the weekend, and off we go in this abominable Frog device, the Peugeot 101. This was my first experience on the autoroute, the French equivalent of the autobahn. No speed limits. Merging into 160 kph traffic was an eye-opener. Stuffing my size-12 boot down hard, I'm actually bending the floor-pan trying to stuff this go-cart up to mere automobile speeds. A Porche wizzes past so fast that it sucks my go-cart sideways, whang!, we brush the guardrail. Shower of sparks. This looks really cool out the rear view mirror in the setting sun. My French girlfriend just sits there in mute agony with this "I'm about to scream" look. After a few long minutes of coaxing, the Peugeot 101 actually buries the speedometer needle behind the gauge. We're doing maybe 110 mph. I breath a sigh of relief cut short as I see a Mercedes rapidly approaching in the rear view mirror. Whoosh! We do that sideways rumba again, but this time avoid the guard rail. Two hours, to and from the Riviera, of this shit. I wonder what those Frogs would think of a Bonneville Salt Flats race car overtaking them by over 500 kph? The final impression was that they drive, as Barbara Walters would say, "Wreally, wreally fwast!" And, surprisingly, except for a few buzzed Peugeot 101s, they don't put a nick in the paint. Europeans exercise lane discipline! The fast lane IS the fast lane and for passing ONLY. While this is a godsend, this doesn't forgive their penchant for communism and gleeful appeasement of budding nuclear powers, which all say "Death to infidels!" Meanwhile, back in America, I'm not a violent person. Yet, I am often tempted to purchase a brace of RPGs to fire into the brain-dead dolts that cruise the fast lane at 53 mph with the right blinker on continuously. I spent almost four months living in Toulouse, France when I was going through training for the “Airbus.” Just the single word “Airbus” speaks volumes for what has happened to the airline industry. That’s another story. Back on point, are the “European drivers.”

My El-Cheapo airline company gave me a rental Peugeot 101, a car that would have a tough time slip-streaming the ambulances on the back straight of a go-cart track. It was about seven cuts below a VW Beetle in acceleration, handling, and quality.

My French girlfriend invites me down to the Riviera for the weekend, and off we go in this abominable Frog device, the Peugeot 101.

This was my first experience on the autoroute, the French equivalent of the autobahn. No speed limits. Merging into 160 kph traffic was an eye-opener. Stuffing my size-12 boot down hard, I’m actually bending the floor-pan trying to stuff this go-cart up to mere automobile speeds. A Porche wizzes past so fast that it sucks my go-cart sideways, whang!, we brush the guardrail. Shower of sparks. This looks really cool out the rear view mirror in the setting sun. My French girlfriend just sits there in mute agony with this “I’m about to scream” look.

After a few long minutes of coaxing, the Peugeot 101 actually buries the speedometer needle behind the gauge. We’re doing maybe 110 mph. I breath a sigh of relief cut short as I see a Mercedes rapidly approaching in the rear view mirror. Whoosh! We do that sideways rumba again, but this time avoid the guard rail.

Two hours, to and from the Riviera, of this shit. I wonder what those Frogs would think of a Bonneville Salt Flats race car overtaking them by over 500 kph?

The final impression was that they drive, as Barbara Walters would say, “Wreally, wreally fwast!” And, surprisingly, except for a few buzzed Peugeot 101s, they don’t put a nick in the paint.

Europeans exercise lane discipline! The fast lane IS the fast lane and for passing ONLY. While this is a godsend, this doesn’t forgive their penchant for communism and gleeful appeasement of budding nuclear powers, which all say “Death to infidels!”

Meanwhile, back in America, I’m not a violent person. Yet, I am often tempted to purchase a brace of RPGs to fire into the brain-dead dolts that cruise the fast lane at 53 mph with the right blinker on continuously.

]]> By: brad http://www.gonzoville.com/screeds/la-drivers-too-dumb-to-live/comment-page-1/#comment-60928 brad Fri, 23 Jan 2009 06:56:13 +0000 http://blog.gonzoville.com/?p=42#comment-60928 I live in central la, hollywood, and by far I cannot believe how people drive, its like a game or something especially during rush hour, I get honked at sometimes because I dare gun it at a green as someone almost inevitable will be running the red light from the side, mostly rush hour, but still.....you have to watch out! I live in central la, hollywood, and by far I cannot believe how people drive, its like a game or something especially during rush hour, I get honked at sometimes because I dare gun it at a green as someone almost inevitable will be running the red light from the side, mostly rush hour, but still…..you have to watch out!

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